Cell Phone Solution

Chalk this one up under "Duh! Why didn't I think of this sooner?". As I passed a car going way too slow for my comfort, I glanced over, only to see the driver using a cell phone, leaning on the center console, looking way too cool; oblivious to the world around them.

As I turned left, using my finger to steer the car, the crux of the problem struck me! Driving is waaay too easy for all y'all! Being able to manipulate my steering wheel with only a middle finger helped me realize how easy and physically unchallenging driving is, thanks to the advancements in mechanical technology.

The drastic solution? Take away power steering from vehicles AND require all cars to have manual transmissions. "What's a manual transmission?", you ask. You heard me! Lets go retro, back to the days when 10 and 2 were not just a factored pair of 20, but were the required hand/clock positions necessary to maneuver a car; or so we were taught.

I'm aging myself; but as I look back fondly, those old clunkers we learned to drive, really required some muscle and mental skills to negotiate, even on the straightest of roads. Are you old enough to recall your left thigh and calf muscles bulging because the clutch was so hard to push in? Ever stall your car because your coordination was just a hair off? C'mon, fess up.

Do you really think you're a strong enough driver to use a cell phone without the assistance of power-steering? I doubt it. Wait, now that I think about it, this is the potential remedy for our American obesity problem too! Have flabby biceps and triceps? Is your six-pack a twelve-pack? Steer a car on a winding road, without power steering, for an hour or so.

So there you have it; I've solved the using a cell phone while driving problem, and found a way for people to exercise and lose weight too. Now, if I can just get President Obama's car czar to read this post, I might win a Nobel!