Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Cell Phone Solution

Chalk this one up under "Duh! Why didn't I think of this sooner?". As I passed a car going way too slow for my comfort, I glanced over, only to see the driver using a cell phone, leaning on the center console, looking way too cool; oblivious to the world around them.

As I turned left, using my finger to steer the car, the crux of the problem struck me! Driving is waaay too easy for all y'all! Being able to manipulate my steering wheel with only a middle finger helped me realize how easy and physically unchallenging driving is, thanks to the advancements in mechanical technology.

The drastic solution? Take away power steering from vehicles AND require all cars to have manual transmissions. "What's a manual transmission?", you ask. You heard me! Lets go retro, back to the days when 10 and 2 were not just a factored pair of 20, but were the required hand/clock positions necessary to maneuver a car; or so we were taught.

I'm aging myself; but as I look back fondly, those old clunkers we learned to drive, really required some muscle and mental skills to negotiate, even on the straightest of roads. Are you old enough to recall your left thigh and calf muscles bulging because the clutch was so hard to push in? Ever stall your car because your coordination was just a hair off? C'mon, fess up.

Do you really think you're a strong enough driver to use a cell phone without the assistance of power-steering? I doubt it. Wait, now that I think about it, this is the potential remedy for our American obesity problem too! Have flabby biceps and triceps? Is your six-pack a twelve-pack? Steer a car on a winding road, without power steering, for an hour or so.

So there you have it; I've solved the using a cell phone while driving problem, and found a way for people to exercise and lose weight too. Now, if I can just get President Obama's car czar to read this post, I might win a Nobel!


  1. Thank you for writing. I agree - when I had a standard shift and no power steering - I couldn't even drink a cup of coffee and drive - let alone talk on the phone. The 10 & 2 is forsaken for the 4 & 6 due to airbags. Is that making us really old - when even the driving is different??? I don't want a standard because I don't drink & drive as much as eat and drive. I am glad you are at the keyboard and I found the Doonsbury way, way right on too. lorraine

  2. Ah, back to the days when there were no cup holders. I do drive a standard stick, and I can talk on the phone. I guess we will have to lose the power steering.

  3. I still prefer a manual to automatic, but I had to laugh remembering driving my stepsister's car that lacked power steering. At the time, I didn't know power steering was fairly recent and kept telling her she needed to get her steering looked at.

    Thanks for solving the obesity problem - you certainly deserve a Nobel!

  4. ahhh, the memories of driving like that! I still have the manual transmission though.

  5. Once the car is in motion, even the ones without power steering is easy to manuever. Only when it is standstill will the power steering has any effect.
    anyway a nice thought. What about having some bicycle like pedal inside the car to aid in battery charging

  6. Hi Deployed Teacher,

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    Hope this is helpful,

    Seth Sanford


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