This week, at a hastily assembled meeting, our Superintendent of Schools informed us that the County Probation office may have to potentially close down one-half of our juvenile hall next year due to severe budget cuts, thereby affecting the COE (County Office of Education) juvenile hall teaching staff. He handed out pink slips to 22 of 48 teachers to prepare for a "worst case" scenario. It was painful to watch as teacher friends found out their fate that evening.
But wait, it gets better! The news just said that global warming may have helped cause the Japan earthquake, so now I feel guilt too! I just knew that using my fireplace, driving my car, eating meat and drinking milk (because cows produce methane), using up my old light bulbs, etc. would come back to hurt the planet. I knew it! My apologies to the earth, Japan, and to you reader, because as we all know, duh!...Mother Nature can be tamed by well intentioned environmentalists, and I'm not doing my part.
With all the unstable, worldwide events in the news recently, I look inward, Yoda-like, and realize that if I was more of a devout Mexican-American, intrinsically linked to my dark-skinned Mayan ancestors' apocalyptic 2012 calendar, and, believed that guy from history...what's his hyphenated name?... Nostradamus-Perez-Rodriguez? I might think some dark days lie ahead.
In light of all this, I'm considering a new exercise program, a regimen of extreme flexibility, perhaps yoga; so if the shit hits the fan, I'll be able to bend over, and kiss my ass goodbye!
Ay dios mio!
I knew it all had to be someone else's fault. Hmm, that is kind of a pun - fault - earthquake - ya know?
ReplyDeleteYes, good one! I'll take the blame.
ReplyDeleteAnd did you notice the cryptic reference to NPR? That's where I remember hearing about the Mayan calendar.
Thanks for hanging in there with me, know I haven't been writing much. Been thinking a lot, just not expressing it. Mark
hysterical post! coffee on keyboard. damn
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